Some Call Me Sarah

I am constantly personifying things and I see creatures everywhere. Like this piece of cauliflower. I thought it was cauliflower until I noticed it was actually a sad little bear. I took the time to draw his face on so you wouldn't miss it. Some people do. I was at my studio, shooting cauliflower, because I'm going to finish all 100 photos dammit(!), when I noticed the bear. I've been told that I have an overactive imagination. I'm not sure that's accurate because I have aphantasia, which means I have no mind's eye. It's a spectrum, like everything else, but by and large I cannot conjure mental imagery. I cannot imagine things visually. I cannot picture the face of a loved one. I cannot "see" my memories. I do sometimes get imagery when I dream but it is pretty rare. And here's one that really blows people's minds, I don't experience visuals when I take psychedelics. Anything I imagine, has to happen in front of me. Hence, cauliflo

Nothing ever changed by staying the same. Or so I used to think. I've never had a habit of sticking around anywhere very long, but I'm not sure I believe that anymore. I guess it’s as true as it is false. You can try to stay the same and be uprooted. Look at what happens with floods, earthquakes, gentrification. Sometimes things will change right out from under you.  When I was in college, I waited tables at an Old Chicago. We had a regular, Double Meat Me we called him, because that was his order. A meat pizza with double the meat - hold the green olives. I always thought it was kinda gross, but I eat some weird shit so I didn't judge him for it. He was an older guy in his 60's or 70's, originally from Latvia. He was telling me about his life one afternoon, he only came in during happy hour when things were quieter and cheaper. I don't remember his real name, or too much about his story, but what stuck out to me was one thing he said about life in Latvia,

Carl Jung once said, " Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” I have two thoughts about this. First, why do we use the words "Blah, blah once said"? How do we know how many times someone said something? I repeat myself all the damn time, I know this because my wife has told me so. At any rate, I fucking hope he said it more than once because it's a brilliant fucking thing to say . Now for my second point, which is, Dear Lord, I hope he's right about this because I'm fixing to be 37 in a month and I  could really use a win. A lot of creatives I know, especially those of us who work in commercial art, really struggle. We struggle with confidence, with work life balance, with time management, with being shitty at understanding payroll laws. If that's you, I just want you to know you're not alone, I'm right there with you. I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic. Here's another photo of caul